I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
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He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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