My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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