im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize