I molested 6 butterflies tonight
where am i from again
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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