My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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