hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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