tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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