i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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