I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I bet he comes in French.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize