God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize