thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I lost the right to judge tonight
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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