Just fell off a train. Bad.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize