i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize