Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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