I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
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Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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