i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She swung at the pinata with crutches
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize