2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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