I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize