Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize