The maid of honor just puked.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize