Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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