I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize