Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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