Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize