Rock
Scissors
Fuck
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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