I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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