I wish I only lived at night.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize