she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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