I want to stick my p in your. b.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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