; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
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my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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