Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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