1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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