This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize