Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
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hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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