Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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