Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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