he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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