oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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