He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize