i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
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My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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