Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
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U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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