I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
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I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
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i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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