he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize