Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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