Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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