My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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