she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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