I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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