your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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