Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize