She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Your cock deserves a montage
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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